Wednesday, 14 June 2017

Is life amazing?

So here I am, sat back at my desk, windows open because it's warm, even though it's cloudy outside and i'm again questioning what is my life.

I've not long completed a course of CBT to deal with my own problems, call that the reason I've been quiet on here... But in truth, I've just been getting on with life as best I can.

At home I become bored too easily, nothing to actually do apart from surf the internet, play games or watch tv, all of which grow boring after some time. I can go and see friends, but usually that ends up with me drinking and spending money I can't afford. I mean for the past few weeks I've had literally no food in my flat. My boyfriend has helped me through the tough times, of course he would, but I have to wonder... what am I doing with my life.

I've semi given up on reading about the world because it's all bad news every where you look. Only last night there was a huge fire in London which has claimed lives when a tower block of flats became quickly engulfed in fire. One of my worst fears about living in my old flat was how to get out if the stairway became covered in fire, and that was only on the first floor!

If I look up over at Manchester you're just reminded of the bombing which took place while I was away on holiday, London has had several terror attacks in recent months, so you look further away from home, we're still bombing Syria, Turkey is still at war, America is still trying to deal with Trump and... it just gets to the point you go, I can't cope with all this.

So, sure, this is a short post. Call it a mid afternoon release of steam. I'm going to go and mow the front garden, I think that'll give me something to do.

Sunday, 29 January 2017

The box

A small time ago I discovered a company which offer a subscription service for about £20 a month called a buddy box. The idea behind it is that once a month you the subscriber would receive a box through the post full of item's you weren't expecting, which give focus to mental health and well being. I love this idea.

I love the idea because suffering with mental health the way that I do I often find myself unable to cheer myself up. I become very disinterested with objects and general day to day things and I need something to keep my mind active or something to waste my time on. I can be a very difficult project!

When I moved into my new home I was very short of storage until my first Christmas here. As a present off my family I was given some storage units to go in several places around my home. As I began packing things away into these boxes I decided that maybe indeed I did need to create my own buddy box. Just one box which would be full of things for me to see and things to do. I guess during better times in my mind idea's like this are wonderful, but today for me is yet another boring day. I have nothing to do and nobody I know is available to even come around for a coffee.

It is times like this where I need my buddy box the most. Something to help me pass the time until something comes along for me to go and be busy with. I mean don't get me wrong theres plenty I can go and do in the real world, but when your brain is lumbered with depression, forcing yourself to do anything can seem impossible, even though some people do point out the obvious that it is only me who can improve my mood... but sometimes even I don't know how to.

Anyway, I guess that's it. Here is another 10 minutes filled up, and yet, it is in itself a waste of time.

I hate days like today.

Tuesday, 10 January 2017

Am i a trump supporter?

I think it's official. 2016 was seen as a bad year because a lot of really well known people passed away, Brexit happened and of course for America, Trump won.


This was supposed to be shocking news, but in truth, we had all been warned that IF it came to Hilarious Clinton and Donald Trump going head to head, he would win... and he did. Now since then, arguments world over have taken place about how trump didn't win the popular vote (which doesn't count towards anything to be fair), how trump hired Russia to hack something so he would win the vote (even though the vote doesn't take place online at all)... you get the idea, a lot of stuff being said.

While I can accept that some people will be worried for the future of their country, I, as an outsider of America actually feel quite calm about him coming into power. I mean let's look for a second at one fact, he hasn't even become president yet and already more people than ever before are now interested in politics and those same people are going to be watching every single thing his government do, waiting for them to slip up.

Now i'm not stupid here, I know he is a republican, I know that the republican party don't really have the interest of you at their heart unless you're a straight white male, but I don't think Trump himself deserves the amount of hatred he is getting at the moment. It's kind of like standing outside your local McDonalds complaining at future employee's are going to mess up orders and so they shouldn't be hired... you can't say that because you don't know it for sure, you might have a strong hunch, but you can't be 100% sure. Same thing for what people are doing at the moment, and this is what makes me wonder...

Am I a trump supporter?

During his running time for the elections the man made some very idiotic comments. I have even wondered myself if the only reason he ran was to try and make Hilarious Clinton look like the better candidate since they are good friends, but if this were true then wow did that plan back fire. It has to be said however, I am willing to give him a chance. Does that make me a supporter of his? I don't agree with a lot of what he has said, I think some of his idea's that he spoke of pre-election were the most crazy I have ever heard, but i'm still willing to see what he does in the role, given that since it was confirmed he won the vote, he has gone back on several of his election promises.

Look, the world over was more than willing to give Clinton a chance, even though her past is filled with war, oil robbing, money from some very questionable sources and of course the laws she has passed for said money... but America was willing to give her a chance, yet, not a man who frankly, spoke his mind during the election campaign. If we agree with him or not on his points of view, we have to admire that this is one man in politics who will call stuff as he see's it, and the truth is, it has been a while since a political figure has been like that in the west in a long time.

So, how do I finish this off? Well, all's I can say is... join me. Sure, watch him, question every thing he does, but stop moaning already. He IS going to be the next president of the USA, and he is going to have years in power, so simply typing #NotMyPresident on your social media makes you look slightly stupid (unless like me, you're not in the USA and so it is the truth)... But all in all, give him a chance. When he does something which makes you angry, then i'll be right there with you shouting for change... but let's see what he does first.

Saturday, 7 January 2017

Mum's advice

Recently online I have seen a sort of surge in the amount of my friends and family joining websites and groups which are designed to give mum's the best advice on how to raise their child. Everything from what to feed your child right through to what clothes to get them and for the best price.

On the whole there's nothing really wrong with these sorts of groups, in my opinion, when they are used in a supportive manor, but part of me cannot help but wonder if these groups are making other mums stressed... let me explain why.

When it comes to feeding a child of course any mother is going to want to make sure her child receives the best food possible, that it's all fresh and healthy and cooked to perfection... but some mothers cannot afford the finest in food. Some mothers cannot afford the time to spend all day getting everything ready for one evening meal.

When it comes to clothing, having your child wearing good looking clothing items and of course making sure that no animals were harmed in the making of that clothing item are what every parent wants to have their child in... but at what point does that stop and the attitude of "well at least that child is clothed" comes in.

Look, this isn't going to be the longest post in the world, but I do have some advice for all mums.

 
Keep doing what you're doing.
 
 
That's it. All mothers raise their child in a different way to other mums, they all have different styles and different rules, but nobody and I mean nobody can force you to be the perfect parent, because simply put... one doesn't exist.
 
 
A mothers job is stress filled enough, without feeling more pressure from other mothers or doubts over your ability to do a good job. So by all means, if something is wrong, then ask for help, but never feel as if you're failing your child.