Tuesday 23 December 2014

Christmas 2014 and why i'm scared by it.

I should admit something here, infact, I think to close friends and family I have admitted that the past few christmas' haven't felt much like Christmas at all. I'd gotten to a point where I thought I'd lost the festive feeling, that it had been pushed back into the closet I once stepped out of and left in there to be gone forever. I'd enjoyed seeing others enjoy their Christmas and for some reason, the enjoyment they we're getting out of it made me reflect on my own lack of enthusiasm for the event.

I had enjoyed most looking at the Leffew family video's of their Christmas, once mine was all done with. I enjoyed seeing their video's from several points of view really. You have 2 fathers in their family who we're seeking enjoyment out of seeing their children being beyond happy with their presents, opening their gifts from Santa and sitting back to see their hard work pay off, I mean, let's be real for a moment here, who's heart can't that melt?

I had enjoyed seeing indeed their children, who I presume would have been like me, where the night before Christmas day is one of sleeplessness, too excited for hearing Santa's sleigh on the roof, hearing him creak around the house to nibble on his mince pie and drink the sherry. Unfortunatly for me, I was never awake when he came, but I believe some children have been! Seeing the Leffew video's of Daniel and Selina, still in their pj's going to open their presents and being amazed at what they had been given was melting my heart every year.


In 2014, my Christmas events are set to change, as has been the theme for my 2014 year. In little over a week after Christmas, i'll not be watching the Leffew family and their Christmas adventures, instead, i'll be in a pub in London with them, probably having mulled wine, trying to calm myself down, because meeting them is a huge deal for me.

It's also more different for me, because for the first time in my life, I'm in a relationship over Christmas. Little un-known fact here that I have never been in a relationship over any sort of event. Valentines, Christmas, Easter, even my birthday, I've always been single. As it is our first, I've wanted it to be as special as I can, while keeping up little promises over the years I have made. What sort of things? Well, me and my family kind of struck a deal that over the years, my nana has always done what she can for all of us, and as much as it pains us to admit the truth, we know one Christmas, she won't be there, so, we do what we can to make Christmas as special as we can for her. Lot's of presents, terrible jokes, party crackers, and most importantly, to make memories.

For my relationship point of view, it's the first one with my boyfriend. He's met my family who's coming to Christmas, he knows what we're like and I think he'll have a good time with us, but I want it to be special for him, and he, for me. It's one of them things that you have to get right, so as in years to come you can look back and say "Do you remember our first Christmas together" and use it as a comparison to how our lives have changed over the years, and yes, I'm looking at the long term with him, which is why I say this.

I won't go into his own reasons as to why he's not spending it with his own family, because that's his own story to tell, but rest assured, he'll be made to feel a part of my family.

I really do hope you all have a wonderful Christmas this year. My blog on Youtube, "life with Bev" is back next year and I hope you're all excited for it, I know I am! This has been a year of change and rants, I think by reading back on my posts you'll soon be able to agree on that! Wherever you are in the world, enjoy your time this Christmas. Enjoy your friends, family, food... whatever it is you have.

If you have been a regular reader of this blog this year, then I thank you for being on the journey with me. I can't wait to see what is in my future and I hope you'll stick with me for it.

Until 2015, thanks for everything....

Bev x

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