Friday 22 February 2013

Slow it down!!!

Recently i've found several cases in my social media life where some people have gotten into a relationship after knowing a person for 5 minutes, then begin clogging up my news feeds professing their un-dying love for this other person.

It's something which has really started bugging me recently because i'm usually one of the one's who these very people turn around to after every break up, heart broken, expecting me to be able to say those magic words and make them feel better... well, tough!

Look, different things work for different people, maybe getting together after saying hello to someone can work for some, for most people i know, it can't and never will. While meeting on social media may work for some, for many it doesn't.... so what is the right way? what needs to happen to secure a good relationship?

Far be it for me to give any relationship advice, as a single person, but i've seen now where people have gone wrong over and over again.... so here's some advice.

  • Take your time!!! - Too many people rush into a relationship, desperate to eventually feel wanted by someone, to feel loved. If you rush into these things, you do go in with your eyes shut and more often than not, you ignore the sign's that infact, you're dating a complete and utter twat. While you may think you're happy, remember that your friends around you and your family will usually only have your best interests at heart, so listen to them and look at how they are with your other half.
     
    I had a friend who not too long ago, couldn't bring her boyfriend out with her friends, because none of us liked him. She was sort of aware of this, but wanted to persue her chance of happyness with him, so kept blanking her friends advice to find someone she was more suited to, who loved her for her and not for what she could offer.
     
  • Know who you're going out with first! - Let's for a second stand back and look at what a relationship actually is. It seems to be a strong friendship, with more feelings involved than normal. It is a strong bond, wanting to have someone around, abit more than a friend would be etc. So why not start with the basics and build up a friendship with someone? Don't put an exact time limit on it, but if you've got feelings for someone who's been your friend for a while, then chances are you're going to be good at being in a relationship with them.
     
  • Know yourself - TOOOOOO many people i know couldn't tell you what they could bring into a relationship, other than thinking on their feet. Not enough of us spend time mentally getting ourselves ready for a relationship, so we have to figure out what we can bring into a relationship, while actually being in a relationship.... that doesn't work.

    Knowing what you have to put into a relationship helps you, becuase you can then spend more time getting to know the other person and knowing what they have to bring into a relationship.

So, to sum up.... If you're quick at getting into a relationship, it will be quick to be over, in most cases. Most importantly, a relationship should be about enjoying yourself. Getting excited about seeing that special person, looking forward to time you have together etc, all add's to the enjoyment of being in a relationship.

Out of all of this.... Never be afraid to be by yourself. Shockingly, i know of too many people who are in a relationship, just for the sake of being in a relationship, now THOSE sorts of relationships rarely work out.

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