Thursday 31 January 2013

Self imposed love life ban?

This is probably something you would read and think either "Wow that was honest" or "That must have been difficult to write", but truth of the matter is, what i say in this is completely how i feel at the moment. I'm not saying that thing's wont change in the future, but theres a few thing's i need to explain first.

You know how some people tear themselves apart infront of you, you often feel obliged to say the usual "Don't feel like that" or "You're not that bad", but here's where i need to stop you. When my mind is made up, it's made up. I don't require nor request any sympathy from anybody.

See, let's take thing's back a little bit here....

My first boyfriend, as we've spoken about before on here, tried to cheat on me with my brother. After him, there was another who was really good looking, but i've since found out, was basically a two timing, money grabbing whore. After him i took a break from wanting men and went back to just sleeping with anyone that would have me, while not actually wanting a relationship, people got hurt by it and it's not something i'm wanting to repeat anytime soon.

Skipping forward abit, my last attempt at getting into a relationship failed. Yeah me and him keep in touch now, but i kind of let my emotion's get involved too soon and jelousy seemed to be the one that took over.

I place the whole jelousy issue on what happend in the first relationship, not wanting a repeat of that drives me insane because i want to make sure that i'm not being cheated on, that nothing is going on that i wouldn't like. I don't like the person i become when i'm like that, so how to solve a problem like it?

Friends of mine (whom i won't name) have been able to carry on a full relationship, despite one cheating on the other, other's have been sent completely off the tracks by it.

I decided to take myself away from it all. It's not to say that it's going to hold me single forever, but talking openly doesn't seem to cure those feelings that i feel when i get jelous.

I know i'm also not the only person who has feelings like this. Talking with a friend a few weeks back, something had happend to him with a guy that he liked and from being told about the situation, i knew exactly how he felt. The whole sickly feeling in the tummy, the wanting to get away from the situation and then of course the sleepless nights that follow while your brain tries to think about what happend.

A different friend of mine told me a few night's ago that it can feel awkward talking about being in a relationship around me, because i never seem to be in the mood for one or interested. Almost true. I love to see other's happy, let's just get that straight now. If someone i know is in a relationship that makes them happy, then i'm happy for them too. But i think there's a time when everyone just needs to know why i'm not interested in a relationship and keep putting the walls up when the chance of getting into one arrives.

1) The jelousy.

These feelings can't be stopped in a short time and for some reason this issue sticks with me. I don't like the person that i become when i am jelous and in previous experiance too, it can put a stop to relationships or people even wanting to get to know me in that sense.

2) How i feel about my looks.

Hands up high, i'll admit it, i'm not the best looking guy in the world. Not the worst, but by no means the best. I'm fully aware of this, but as depressing as it can be, having to admit that you're not a good looking person, my attitude is, i've got what i've got, so i either go with it or lose out on everything. So im sort of fine with my looks, but i just don't quite let others compliment my looks (Some do try and they don't even have guide dog's! ha! hi-five!), i normally just brush it off saying "Oh they're a friend, they're bound to say that".

3) The desire to be happy.

True, i would love nothing more than to be in a full on relationship. I do badly miss having someone to cuddle upto in bed, someone to help with day to day things, someone to go through life with me and most importantly, grow old with me.

But the desire for that is taking over my head, meaning i don't want all the stuff that goes before-hand. I hate first dates with a passion, since i either end up drunk and putting someone off me, or if i find them good looking then it would be awkward as hell, because THAT is when i get shy. Put me in a room of 200 people and i can be on the stage entertaining away, sit me down with a good looking guy and BOOM! I stop talking and just really withdraw into myself.

I know what i want, but the path to getting it is unclear, with even less of a desire to want to clear that path.

4) Enjoying myself.

Ok so im not the best person in the world, but i know what makes me happy and how to cheer myself up. I live by myself and actually do enjoy my time alone which can seem odd to others. I do enjoy my own company far too much and that has resulted in me at times, being ungreatful when people have called me, or popped around to visit me.

5) Not wanting the future, today.

I'm more than aware that some friends of mine will be reading this and will send the usual messages afterwards, saying how one day i'll be happy, I'll find someone nice and all that jazz, but truth be told, i'm kind of not wanting a relationship. I know what i have to offer into a relationship, fully, but it's nothing to what people are going to want. Until i'm happy with the way i want to be in a relationship, then i'll be keeping myself single, even if that means pushing away who could turn out to be the love of my life, for the time being, i'm just not interested.


Finally?

I, as some of you may well know, am a gay. I don't hide the fact and yes i do often scream and shout it, but here's the deal. I don't have many gay friends, like, actual friends who i can go and have a drink with, but not end up in bed with them. I love to have friends who know what i'm talking about, who i can talk about absolute filth with, but then it not leading to sex. So if you find me talking with someone, who, yes, may well be very good looking, i'd rather have them as a friend in my life for the time being.

I do enjoy seeing others happy, it makes me happy, and i love to try and help others become happy if they want my help. My happyness will come one day or another, that i'm sure of.

I don't suffer with being lonely, i just enjoy being with myself.

So for now, me and my cup of tea are fecking off to bed.

G'nite :)

Wednesday 30 January 2013

Early sign for the recession's being over?

Be it that not many people know, but around 2007/2008 i worked for a debt advice company. Not actually giving financial advice, but during the 3 weeks of training, we were given basic financial advice to pass on to customers, along with an understanding of debt and how it works.

In the training, which took place in the 2007, we were warned that the UK was about to go into recession. Nothing went into the news about it, only we seemed to be told. Nobody worried about their money beyond a few people, it was still a part of the boom years.

I should tell you at this point that basically my job was to be the first point of contact for people who were having worry's about their finances. The basic idea behind the calls was to fill in an income and expenditure form, then based on the info from that, talk to the customer about the different options, like would it be best for them to consolodate their debt into a loan or mortgage? An IVA? even going bankrupt was the best for some people.

The company was taking on in advance, because they knew that with the increase in business they were getting, that hard times were on the way for the country. Each call would take about 45 minutes, maybe an hour or longer. The building had 3 call centre's and was expanding at the time, each call centre had about 60 staff in, all taking calls and the call que's kept getting bigger and bigger.

Of course, they proved us right. Not long after my leaving, the UK was officially in a recession, banks left right and centre were crumbling at the foundations and nobody had any answers on what to do. The government threw money at banks, which in my opinion, should have been left to fail. People were starting to lose their jobs as company's worried about times ahead.... since then, nothing much has changed really, nobody wants to be the risk taker in doing a massive take-on of staff and expanding.

But here's where i keep my eye, and when i'll decide for myself, if we are out of recession or not.

You see, in advance, this debt advice company knew that we were headed into trouble. While i no longer work there, you can still find out infomation on how their business is doing. When their business stops being so busy, when more people can manage their debt or not get into it, then i'll see that thing's are on the way up, as it stands, that isn't for a while yet. You worry about the UK going into a tripple dip recession? We already are showing sign's that thing's won't be right for years to come.

So what can you do?

My honest advice when it comes to debt, after having sort of worked in the industry, would be to not get into debt, simple. Knowing though that some people have no choice but to get into debt, my advice would be, don't take your eye off it for 1 second. You might not believe it, but debt itself is a killer. People get so stressed out about it that it can lead to them trying to take their own lives, not only that, but if you get into loan sharks and dodgy dealings, then of course, death can come in other forms too.

You see, all debt is manageable one way or another. You'd be amazed at how people can get into debt too. I remember taking a call from a book keeper, who's role is to advise people on debt and make them balance their books, she'd gone and gotten into about £100,000 worth of debt. Shockingly at this point i should say that this really isn't a rare thing and that the biggest amount i found in one of my calls was just under half a million pounds, all done through mortgages, credit cards, loans and dodgy dealings.

If you do have to get into debt like i say, watch it with a hawks eye, never take your eye off it, it's the downfall of so many people. Hidden charges, interest and just general bad management of debt can lead to it often doubling in size.

Next, would be to work out how much you are in. Get all of the letters together, even if they're from debt collection company's, get them together and work it out. It is common for people to ignore debt and debt chaser's, but the longer you do this, the worse it will become. Once you've worked out how much debt you are in (a rough figure would be ok at this stage), you need to then work out how much spare at the end of the month you have to pay off this debt.

We always did an income and expenditure form and you'd be amazed at the thing's you have to account for... here's a rough example....
 


MONTHLY EXPENDITURE


Mortgage/Rent

Mortgage Endowment

Mortgage Arrears

Secured Loan

Council Tax

Buildings Insurance

Contents Insurance

Life Insurance

Personal Pension

Gas/Electricity

Telephone

TV Licence

Food & Cleaning

Toiletries

Tobacco/Alcohol

Clothing

Child Maintenance

School Meals

Pocket Money

Travel Expenses

Car Insurance

Car Finance

Servicing/Recovery Service


AMOUNT


Petrol

Health Costs

TV/Video Rental


EXPENDITURE TOTAL






Total monthly outgoings
 
Then of course you'd need to work out exactly what your income is. Your income basically works as, your RELIABLE monthly income. So do not include bonus' that can be gained through work, unless they are apart of your usual income that will be in your wage every month at a set amount.
 
Then work out your left over, so it'd be Income total - Expenditure total = monthly spare.
 
Brain hurting you yet?
 
It's shocking how much you spend per month and yes, you need to put something in for everything!!!
 
Now depending on how much you have left over at the end of the month, really shows what will be best for you, this is where YOU need to contact a debt advice company, if you are having problems controlling your debt.
 
Remember though, debt doesn't vanish if you ignore it. Debt can be managed but you need to face it full on. Seeking help is not a sign of weakness.
 
So, finally...
 
There's lots of things for you to look at when it comes to seeing if the UK is out of recession or not. While yes, some of us will think the government is wrong for doing some of the thing's they're doing, in the future, we may come to thank them for their actions as with some of their policy's, they are looking to the financial future and setting us up for that. Sure, they're not going to get everything right, not every government can, but when you start to see a dip in the profit's of debt management company's, then i'll start to believe that things are looking up....




Friday 25 January 2013

Gay marriage in the uk. Why i'd vote against it.

For year's now in the UK, me and alot of other people have all been backing progress over the same sex marriage debate within the UK. Since we first started getting progress reports and infomation about what is going to be happening, i've been doing what i can to help move thing's along. This has involved taking part in plenty of survey's and poll's, some of which have been carried out by the UK government.

Of course one of the main argument's against marriage equality comes from our friends in religion, who for one reason or another, have a chip on their shoulder when it comes to this debate. Some argument's have actually made me laugh out loud, like when the church of england said how they were against redenfining marriage, yet why was the church created in the first place? History tells us it was created by king henry the 8th, who wanted marriage re-defined so he could get a divorce, since no other religion was allowing it at the time, simple fact for you right there.

As this debate reaches a big step, in being debated in the houses of parliment, something odd has happend which has made me actually want to go against the bill as it stands.

While at the current time, news headline's are grabbed by saying that "Gay marriage" or "marriage equality" is up for debate and will be voted on, they forget to say that in the small print of this bill is a blanket ban for the church of England and wales.

See, the system would be set up that places of worship would either opt in or opt out of performing same sex marriage, which is a system i can easily live with, sure it will cause problems for some, but for me, it wouldn't really bother me too much because in one way or another, all same sex couple's in the UK would be able to be legally married. To put a ban on any place of worship from being able to opt into the system or opt out is absolutly not needed, it should be left down to the place of worship itself.

Now while yes, this isn't the longest post i've ever done, i will simply finsh off by saying, either way this bill goes i'm not botherd. If it goes forward then brilliant, we have same sex marriage, but if it doesn't go our way, then it gives us chance to ammend the bill and put it back through parliment again. Yes it would cause delays, but theres no need for a ban on any place of worship at the moment.

Thank you.

Tuesday 8 January 2013

The end of "coming out"?

For a while now the thought has been in my head about how people, celebs, basically anyone who is LGBT still has to come out about their sexuality / way of life.... however you like to dress it up, it is what it is.

Coming out is an age old tradition in the gay community, in which, we express to others, usually in our own words, about our sexuality. Why? because back when being gay was something for others to be scared of (it never was, but some people get scared by it) we would feel the urge to tell them the true us.

But that was all back in a day when society seemed to frown upon the gay community. As we have seen in the west (and in some places in the east of the world too) times are changing for the gay community. Big strides forward are being made by the community with more recent activity like gay marriage being the latest headline-grabbing news.

Even that has changed peoples minds about the community. It opend people up into looking into the gay community, who was in it and why were we (are we) being treated 2nd class? More and more people are now open to the gay community and this is where my current thoughts are held.

Growing up i never thought it possable to actually see a time in my life, where a person wouldn't have to come out with their true sexuality, it would have always been the case that there had to be abit of drama around it, but the end result being.... nobody really cares, but like i say, times are changing.

It may actually be possable in the future that the young 19 year old, with his first boyfriend, could go home to mum and dad and say "This is my boyfriend" and not worry about being thrown out of the family or even in some cases, killed.

I may well be alone in this thought, but it is of some interest to me. I know that the gay community itself would love a world like the one i think i can see, but theres still alot of work to be done, but it is being done. The more the community is treated like everyone else the more it becomes "the norm", the more it becomes "the norm" the more society will learn to care less.

I think my mother is a prime example of how most parents will be in the future. When i came out she only ever said 2 things. The first was about 2 days after, we were walking through a neighbouring town and a girl was walking along, she pointed her out to me and said "does that not interest you" to which i simply said no. She didn't disapprove or anything, nothing else was said. The second thing was when talking about it with friends one night and she simply said "I want my children to be safe. It does not bother me their sexuality, who they sleep with, who they go out with, just as long as they're safe. I don't like to think that if they flaunted their sexuality in the wrong place that anybody would want to harm them, but we do still live in a world where people wouldn't think twice about causing injury because a person is gay, that is what frightens me".

What more could i ask for hey? Her only worry is what every other parent worry's about anyway, their child being safe.

To this day, i've still never had any major incident over my sexuality. Sure you get comments made and weird looks, but that washes over me, because i learned, they're the ones with the problem, not me.

So i look forward to the future of the LGBT community and can't wait to find a day when nobody wonders what a persons sexuality is, because whoever they are, they are seen as normal.

Friday 4 January 2013

Does everyone love Marineland?

Back in the june/july of 2012, i went on a trip to canada to stay with my family, a little outside of toronto.

We did loads of stuff like the CN tower, niagra falls.... even going to their usual grocery store was brilliant for me because i loved the way that life is there.

Every other day, one way or another, i'd always hear the theme tune / advert, which always finished with the line "Everyone loves marineland".... here's 1 version of it below....


Now that isn't the exact advert, or even the right theme as far as i remember, but it's as close as i can get on youtube at the moment.

My mind was fixed on the thought "Well, why does everyone love marineland?". I did want to go (I was a tourist when all said and done) but not having much money while i was over there, i decided maybe it'd be a trip i wouldn't make this time around, maybe next time i visited Canada (No really, i cannot wait to go back to Canada, it's an amazing country).

Only i'm now glad that i didn't go to marineland at all.

Not that it's something i majorly enforce, but i prefer to make my money work for me in a weird way. Like back home here in the UK, i refuse to order pizza from a company called "Domino's" because the owner of the company, using the company profits, was found to be giving money to anti gay causes. Why would i want him using my money to go against my rights? See where i'm coming from with this point?

It was a little time after getting home and a guy who i actually have alot of respect for online, called Spandy Andy, posted something very interesting indeed.

See, Spandy Andy's normal online presence is showing us all some of the street performances he's done and spreading a positive message of "Tight & Bright" while boosting people's good feelings and most importantly, making people smile.

Here's a little of Spandy Andy to give you all an idea of what i'm going on about....


It takes balls to do what he does and over the year's he's created alot of happy faces and some memorable moments for people in the process.

What Spandy Andy posted on the day i'm reffering to wasn't of a happy nature, infact, it was the oposite. Unknown to me, Spandy Andy had worked at Marineland, performing in shows there i believe upto 5 times a day (With his energy levels, he'd have well outdone me!), but Spandy Andy didn't last that long there. Why? Because of what he saw....


Credit to him, Spandy Andy has gotten behind almost all of the action against the way Marineland treats their animals, educating people in what happens there and asking others to help the animal abuse to end there. If i remember rightly, i signed a few petition's and felt physically sick at some of the sight's i could see when looking into this topic.

But here's where i stop at the moment and i kind of want to show you something.

See, not too long ago there was a protest outside Marineland in which some people stormed the gates to the park and managed to stop one of the shows which was taking place at Marineland that day. Spandy Andy was of course there doing his usual thing and on his youtube channel, posted the following video....


You will not see it on here, but in the video's own description Spandy wrote "I'm not happy with the actions of many in this video. I was there because I wanted to be part of change. Those animals are never happy like me. Marineland is not healthy".

While yes, some people were arrested because of this action they took, they did manage to raise awareness that day to some of the people in the park that animal abuse was taking place inside the park. To me, I'm glad that Spandy Andy was there, i'm glad that the other protester's were there too, this issue needs action and it needs it fast! Spandy WAS NOT arrested that day, but here's the thing....

On this very youtube video, Spandy has recieved such comments as....

"Terrifying the dolphins? Sounds like a FANTASTIC idea. I hope you're all proud of yourselves for terrifying those animals, and also families with small children."

"I'm so disappointed to learn that you were one of the people that broke through the gates. I thought you were all about positivity, but you broke the law and helped a bunch of out-of-control protesters terrify a crowd made up of families with children. If you want positive change for this park, you can't go about it in such a negative way. Is that really "tight and bright"? I don't think so, more like "terror and spite". "

"Your heart is in the right place, but I think it would be better to simply protest the management. Find a way to speak to the owners of these places and try to work out a compromise to ensure the safety of these animals. Running into a stadium yelling and screaming is not going to do much for your cause but make others dislike animal activists.
As far as the animals being in captivity... it's not ideal, but it is better than them being slaughtered or poisoned out in the wild."

"You are such an idiot. I'm going to try shark fin soup as soon as I can."

I honestly do not understand where some people come from i really don't. In my eyes, animal abuse is never acceptable and i mean animal abuse of any sort. The comment that starts about Spandy's heart being in the right place, is what would happen in an ideal world, but person after person whom i've heard from over this issue have said that the management simply do not listen to people.

I, along with some others, am very glad that Spandy has drawn light to this and i wish him and all the other protesters luck and i hope that this issue can come to an end soon.

As for the latest on this story, the most recent bit of news that i could find on this is dated 10th October 2012 which hint's that the Ontrio government are getting involved, which of course could well be a good thing provided action is taken.

If you would like to put your voice to this in order to try and stop the animal abuse there, then take a look at http://www.thepetitionsite.com/367/154/381/stop-animal-cruelty-at-marineland/

Thank you for reading this!

Thursday 3 January 2013

Depression

For a number of years now i've gotten to see both side's of depression, having battled with it myself and seeing others go through it and being the one to help people battle their demons. I thought long and hard about doing a post like this and felt that maybe the time is right for me to explain both sides to everyone. So if you're going through it or are seeing someone go through it and have no idea how the other side are seeing it, this post might be able to help you.

Before i begin going into this topic, if you are dealing with any form of depression, my advice is for you to speak up about it. Help is available for you, but not unless you speak up about it. You will be suprised if you are going through it at just how many people's live's you will be having an impact on and people want to see you back to being you again, so for all of us, seek help, sooner rather than later.

What is depression?

Definition of depression

noun

  • 1 [mass noun] severe, typically prolonged, feelings of despondency and dejection: self-doubt creeps in and that swiftly turns to depression
  • Medicine a mental condition characterized by severe feelings of hopelessness and inadequacy, typically accompanied by a lack of energy and interest in life: she suffered from clinical depression
  • 2a long and severe recession in an economy or market: the depression in the housing market
  • (the Depression or the Great Depression) the financial and industrial slump of 1929 and subsequent years.
  • 3 [mass noun] the action of lowering something or pressing something down: depression of the plunger delivers two units of insulin
  • [count noun] a sunken place or hollow on a surface: the original shallow depressions were slowly converted to creeks
  • 4 Meteorology a region of lower atmospheric pressure, especially a cyclonic weather system: hurricanes start off as loose regions of bad weather known as tropical depressions
  • 5 Astronomy & Geography the angular distance of an object below the horizon or a horizontal plane.

Origin:

late Middle English: from Latin depressio(n-), from deprimere 'press down'(see depress)

Depression itself has many form's all with different names and resulting in different treatment, as the different types make people do different things. The most important thing to remember when looking into this topic, is to understand that each of us as human beings are mentally, a bag of chemicals, all different amounts of each one. When depression gets to us, it's important to remember that what may work for one person, may not for several others. This is why many people who try to self medicate, be it off advice off a friend or family member, treatment will not have the desired effect on a person and in some cases can lead to worse problems. This is why help should always be sort after from a health professional who knows what they're talking about, starting with your doctor or GP is the best place to start.

During my own battles with depression, i tried to use my time to get to know myself and try to understand why i was acting like i was. This would involve upto several days by myself, shutting away the outside world. What i found was that my life was lacking the change and excitement that i needed in my life in order to keep me being the person i was. It's a process which i feel we all need to do every now and again (Getting to know ourselves, not the shutting ourselves away from the world part) in order for us to be able to know what we have to offer others.

I always stuck by the advice of "how do you know what you're like in a relationship, unless you know yourself well enough. If you don't know yourself, you cannot love yourself properly. If you cannot love yourself properly, you don't allow other's to love you either".

My depression battles tend not to be all that long and i feel i'm lucky enough to be able to mentally find out what is wrong in my life and conduct any changes i feel are needed, in order to be able to move on with my life.

Depression DOES have many forms.

Never be afraid of depression itself, think of it as your brains own way of telling you "You need change". There's no clue's as to what in some cases, but you know something has to change.

Like i said before, there's different treatments for the different types of depression, in either case you should always consult your doctor before trying to self medicate. That said, there's some things that you might be able to do, with any form of depression, which can help you to do what you like.... What are they?

Exercise!

Yes, believe it or not, that thing most of us don't like doing, can not only get our blood pumping, but our brains pumping too, filling us with some good feelings for abit! It's a great way to stay in shape, granted, but it gives our brains a chance to focus on something other than what we know or don't know as the depression cause. So, get that brightly coverd lycra outfit out of your wardrobe, dust off your cassette player and go for a jog, it might just suprise you with how much you can enjoy yourself!

Learn to laugh again!

With the majority of depression, either being a person suffering with it or seeing a person suffering with it, the person who has it often won't laugh where they once used to, but laughing does actually release toxin's in the brain which can make you feel better!

Look at what goes into you!

This is possably going to be a big cause right here. While the main advice at this part would be "Avoid taking illigal substances" truth of the matter is, even legal ones can have a worse effect on us. Look at what you put into your body, look into what it actually is, like alcohol IS a depressant itself, so during low times, don't make yourself lower with alcohol.

Do thing's that you like!

Do things that actually make you happy, or if you feel that nothing can make you happy, do things you know that used to make you happy! If you used to love shopping, go to the shops, you don't have to spend anything in the shops!

Deal with problems that you know are there!

This one may sound pretty basic, but for alot of people it really is easyer saying it than it is doing it. Some people will find themselves suffering with depression because of debt for an example, if you are in that case, seek advice about debt management, there's lots of options for you and doing this, could help you with your depression. The debt is only an example, but dealing with problems you have, while you have depression could well be the answer to helping you get back to being yourself.


Finally some important parts to remember.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE! Alot of people suffer with depression on a daily basis, just because they don't walk around wearing tag's saying that they do, doesn't mean to say they're not in the same boat as you.

SEEK THE HELP YOU NEED! Some of the reason's that people suffer with depression for as long as they do is because they do not seek the help that they need as soon as they can. While yes it might be the most difficult thing you have had to do in life, it could well be one of the best things you ever do, seek help.

DO NOT SELF HARM! Self harming is never a good thing, don't do it. Speaking with people who have done it, even i have learned that most end up with scars and regretting what they have done. No good comes out of self harming.

REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE LOVED! You might not see it everyday, you might not be told it every day, but someone out there loves you for who you are. They have your best interests at heart and want to see you back to being yourself. If you get the help you need, you might just find out who that person is...


Thank you for reading. Please note, this post DOES NOT contain medical infomation. If you are suffering with depression, or know someone who is, but who isn't getting help for it, speak up.

Wednesday 2 January 2013

An attack kept under covers?

Many of us in the december 2012 will have heard about the gang rape against a physiotherapy intern (Not been named).

Using the Wikipedia page about this story, i'd like to go through and just point out something's that do not seem right to me....

Firstly, for those not knowing what happend, the Wikipedia page has the incident down as....

The victims, a 23-year-old female physiotherapy intern and her male friend, were on their way home after watching a film in Saket in South Delhi. They boarded a chartered bus at Munirka for Dwarka that was being driven by joyriders at about 9:30 pm. The minor among the accused had called for passengers telling them that it was going towards their destination. The woman's friend became suspicious when the bus deviated from its normal route and its doors were shut. When he objected, the group of six men already on board taunted the couple, asking what they were doing alone at such a late hour.
When the victim's friend tried to intervene, he was beaten, gagged and knocked unconscious with an iron rod. The men dragged the woman to the rear of the bus, beating her with the rod and raping her while the bus driver continued to drive. Medical reports later suggested that the woman suffered serious injuries to her abdomen, intestines and genitals due to the assault, and doctors say that the damage indicates that a blunt object (suspected to be the iron rod) may have been used for penetration. That rod was later described by police as being a rusted, L-shaped implement of the type used with a wheel jack. After the beatings and rape ended, the gang threw the two from the moving bus. Then the accused allegedly tried to drive the bus over the girl but she was pulled aside in the nick of time by her male friend. One of the perpetrators later cleaned the vehicle. Police impounded it the next day/ As she was pinned down and raped, the young woman put up a fight but was hopelessly outnumbered. She bit three of the men assaulting her. The bite marks on the three accused men are likely to be part of the Delhi Police's evidence in their chargesheet.
The woman and her companion were found by a passerby on the road, partially clothed and unconscious, around 11 pm. The passerby phoned the Delhi Police, who took the couple to a hospital, where the female victim was given emergency treatment and placed on mechanical ventilation. The victim was found with only 5% of her intestines left inside of her. A doctor at the hospital later said that the "rod was inserted into her and it was pulled out with so much force that the act brought out her intestines also. That is probably the only thing that explains such severe damage to her intestines.”


I feel lost for words when trying to tell people about what happend to the pair of them. This is some kind of stuff that you wouldn't even wish on your worst enemy and i can't begin to tell you how much i am behind the protest's which took place after this incident, calling for female equality and for all the details to be released over this topic.

Let's look at what happend afterwards, because this is what i have a slight issue with....

On 19 December 2012, the damaged intestines of the victim were resected due to risk of gangrene, and she received intravenous nutrition and medication. On 21 December 2012, the government appointed a committee of physicians to ensure she received the best medical care. By 25 December 2012, she remained intubated, on life support and in critical condition. Doctors stated that the internal bleeding had been controlled to an extent, but her increased bilirubin level (suggesting hepatic dysfunction or hemolysis) was a "serious cause of concern".
At a cabinet meeting chaired by Manmohan Singh on 26 December, the decision was made to fly her to Mount Elizabeth Hospital in Singapore for further care. Mount Elizabeth is a multi-organ transplant specialty hospital.
The decision to move the patient while she was still in critical condition has been criticised for being purely political. Doctors have questioned the need to transfer an ICU patient for organ transplants that were not scheduled for weeks or even months later.
Government sources indicate that the Chief Minister of Delhi, Sheila Dikshit, was personally behind the decision. Hours earlier, Union Minister P. Chidambaram had stated that the woman was not in a condition to move. Some reports suggest that the decision to shift was taken when it was already clear that she would not survive the next 48 hours
During the six-hour flight by air-ambulance to Singapore, at 30,000 feet, the victim suddenly went into a near collapse. Her blood pressure dipped alarmingly, and doctors on the flight had to create an arterial line to stabilize her. That the doctors were able to perform this procedure in-flight was considered a medical feat. However, the victim never regained consciousness in Singapore.
On 28 December 2012, at 11 am (IST), her condition was "extremely critical" and the Chief Executive Officer of the Mount Elizabeth Hospital said that the woman suffered brain damage, pneumonia, abdominal infection, and that she was "fighting for her life." Her condition continued to deteriorate, and she died at 4:45 am on 29 December, Singapore Standard Time (2:15 am, 29 December, IST; 8:45 pm, 28 December, UTC).
Her body was cremated on 30 December at Delhi under high police security. The government denied access to the media and the public. The "fortification" of Delhi was criticised by many, including the main opposition party of India.


Now of course, while in either hospital, it should be pointed out that i am sure, she was getting all the right help that she needed, or atleast i would like to think so. I've never visited these hospitals.... so i don't know.

However, WHY was she flown to another hospital? She was fighting for her life as it was at the time and yet still, the government moved her. Now granted, they moved her to a hospital which is a specialist for organ transplants, great! but these operations wouldn't have happend for a while, so why move her so soon?

Not only this, but as soon as she died and news spread of her passing, where was the government to say "we will now try these men for murder". It took them a while to say this, although latest news is, is that these men will be tried for murder, among other charges.


This incident should never have happend. At all. But, it's good to see that the incident is being used to give a voice to people who call for equality. Where men are no longer legally allowed to see women as a peice of property and as equal people. It is long overdue for alot of places in the east.

Moving on from this incident and of course we all have been seeing that major protests have been taking place, calling for justice to be served to these 6 men, whom it is believed, the police have at the moment.

Six men have been arrested in connection with the incident: Ram Singh, the bus driver, and his brother, Mukesh Singh, were both arrested in Rajasthan; Vinay Sharma, an assistant gym instructor, was arrested in Delhi, as was Pawan Gupta, a fruit seller; Raju, a minor, and native of Uttar Pradesh was arrested by the police at Anand Vihar terminal in Delhi; and Akshay Thakur, a man who had gone from Bihar to Delhi seeking work, was arrested in Aurangabad in Bihar.
The group had been drinking together and "having a party" before taking the bus out. Raju had only met the others that day.
Ram Singh was presented before the Metropolitan Magistrate on 18 December 2012. Mukesh Singh, who was placed in Tihar Jail after his arrest, was assaulted by other inmates and was kept in solitary confinement for his own protection. Ram and Mukesh Singh are from Ravi Dass Camp, a slum in South Delhi. Ram Singh suffers from a substantial disability in his right arm, sustained after a bus accident for which he had sought compensation. He refused to participate in an identification process.
Shortly after the attacks, Gupta said he accepted his guilt and should be hanged.

The male victim testified in court on 19 December. The female victim recorded her statement with a sub-divisional magistrate at the Safdarjung Hospital on 21 December 2012, in the presence of the Deputy Commissioner of police.
The five adults accused could face charges under the Indian Penal Code. The juvenile suspect, Raju, is subject to a separate legal process. The police promised to file the charge sheet within one week, following public outrage and demand for a speedy trial and prosecution.
At the suggestion of the Delhi Chief Minister, the Delhi High Court approved the creation of five fast-track courts to try rape and sexual assault cases. On 21 December 2012, the government promised to file the charge sheet "quickly" and seek the maximum penalty of life imprisonment for the perpetrators. The Union Parliament’s Standing Committee on Home Affairs met on 27 December 2012 to discuss the issue, and Union Home Secretary R. K. Singh and Delhi Police Commissioner Neeraj Kumar were summoned to appear.
On 21 December 2012, the Delhi High Court reprimanded the Delhi police for being "evasive" in a probe status report providing details of officers on patrol duty in the area covered by the bus route. A further court hearing on the matter is scheduled for 9 January 2013. The following day, the Delhi Police initiated action against three Hauz Khas police station personnel for alleged inaction on an alleged robbery of the bus on which the gang rape and assault occurred. Just before the gang rape, the accused had robbed a carpenter, Ramadhar, after picking him up in their area. On 24 December 2012, two Assistant Commissioners of Police were suspended for failing to prevent the gang rape incident.
On 29 December 2012, following the death of the victim, the accused were charged with murder by the police. Senior lawyer Dayan Krishnan has been appointed as the special public prosecutor and Delhi police is hoping to file the charge sheet by January 3, 2013.

I can only hope that some sort of justice is given to these men and those who have been involved in the way of allowing this incident to take place.... ie, no provention from the police service.

I honestly have no idea as to what would be good justice. Sticking them in a prison, allowing them to live a life between 4 walls, while being kept at the expense of the public, 3 meals a day along with some luxury's. I don't feel that the death penalty would be a good option either, since the death's would be over quickly and in some cases, almost pain free.

Ideally, going back to my nana's way of thinking, i'd like to see done to them what they did to the girl and her male friend. Fighting fire, with fire.

Whatever the outcome of this incident is, i can only hope that serious lessons will be learned and that mind's world over will be changed about how we treat each other.