.... Never existed and never will exist, but there's still certain qualities you need as a person, in order for you to become a good parent.... let me explain why....
I posted a video not that long back on life with bev about my father. Thing's still have not changed but something has happend which made me think of a few things at once, so rather than have to make another youtube video about it all, i thought it's much easyer for me to try and explain things on here.
Now only the other day i was talking to some people about parenting, because they'd said that for a fact, all parents will make mistakes while raising kids, because no handbook ever got given out with a baby, no handbook could be written, because all children are different. While yes that is true, it did make me think about some of the things we as children need in our lives in order for our parents to make less mistakes in the future.
See my father was and still is homophobic (No matter how much he may try and deny this, he clearly is). All through my childhood he would say homophobic things and refuse to talk about the topic should arise. Not that at age 6, i shouldn't have been asked if i had been kissing boy's, when i was getting asked if i had been kissing girls, but as a child becomes more aware of the world around them, in a way, parents need to relax.
The ideal parent would have morals and ensure that a child was raised polite and respectful (No matter how those lessons are learned by the child, it's important that those values are in a child), It's also important for a parent to try and educate their child as best possable and at the right times too.
What do i mean?
Well when i was given the sex talk, my mother and father were going through a divorce, my father was in the process of buying a house but moved out to live with friends, so of a weekend when i was off school, he'd hire a hotel room and we'd stay in a hotel somewhere. I was on the bed one night and the coversation got onto sex and he wapped out his erm.... *cough* thing *cough* and proceeded to tell me about how it works and what happens etc etc etc. Now although that does sound like the set up of an awfully wrong porn film, it wasn't right in that after the talk/display my father refused to answer questions about gay sex. Instead of saying "I don't know" i was told to not even think about it as it's wrong.
Well, must have kicked him in the nuts when both his son's turned out gay, but back to where we were....
With him pushing me away from being gay, that may well have made me more curious into the gay lifestyle and such.... i don't know for sure, but i think at this age i'd already made my mind up.... let's face a fact here, i knew that something was different about me from a VERY young age, it was only when i could put a name to it that i began to wonder about what being gay meant.... Anyway....
I do feel it would have been better for him to simply say "I don't know about gay sex". Same as if i had been asking him about religion. My father was never religious in anyway, but im more than sure if we had have been talking about religion then he'd have down talked each one of them, instead of giving the simple answer of "I don't know, let's find out together" or something along those lines.
I today class myself as a budhist (Believe it or not), It's the religion for me, that i can be at peace with and the message of the religion and it's morals, suit me and my life style. Now my mother is fine with this, if i had any questions when i was growing up, she'd always try and respond as best possable. I would sometimes ask her awkward questions, that i didn't know about at the time, but now i do, i can LOL at them.
Like driving down to line dancing one evening (What? It's not THAT gay of a child to do that.... ok yes, it was slightly camp, but i was good!) and asking her what a g-spot was.... She couldn't give me a straight answer, so my aunt was asked by me, who gave the response of "It's a point of high pressure". Now just like that, i knew more than the advrage man does in his mid to late 30's, but anyway.... back to the point....
When being a parent it is important to raise a child to have morals and standards, but to let the child find them, themselves. Ok, so your child has said he does not like gay people.... he's 7 years old, a 7 year old is not aware of the world around them, so for me, i can excuse that as childhood innocence, unless he's bullying.... but thats for another posting on here....
If you are honest with your child, later in life they will remember it and in their own way, thank you for it too. Because my dad was homophobic, i am less close to him and in a way, yes part of the reason is down to that, it's also why im probably closer to my mother, because we have the sort of relationship, where we can talk to each other about anything and everything.... we help each other out now days, with advice and such.
My final point is, while no, there's no handbook and never will be, it takes alot more thinking than doing, to be a good parent.
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